Do you ever wonder what you might be doing if you had taken a different turn of the road?
In Melissa’s story she described the help she received to achieve a childhood dream to travel to Spain. Upon her return, Melissa changed her major to Spanish.
This got me thinking about choices and destiny.
I couldn’t help wondering… what if Melissa had not travelled to Spain? How would that experience have shaped her life? Would the disappointment of missing out on the trip have fuelled her determination to study Spanish? Or, is it possible that without that pivotal trip to the Canary Islands, Melissa’s life would have headed in another direction? Would she instead be a marine biologist as she once dreamed, or disaffected would she have joined the large proportion of the workforce (including moi) that change careers at least twice in their lives?
When do we know what we want to do with our lives?
As a child I participated in a variety of activities. I enjoyed algebra and calculus (go figure!) just as much as drama and debating. I loved reading and ploughed through hundreds of books each year. I danced, I ran and I played sports. I was happy alone. I was happy in groups. Come to think of it I was just plain happy.
I don’t think I’d given a lot of thought to choosing a career. My father had given it plenty of thought and like many parents envisaged a highly successful career for me. He hoped that I would complete multiple degrees, dreamed of a career in politics (Prime Minister no less!) but although I was ambitious, my high school dreams hadn’t progressed much beyond being Queen of my own castle complete with the proverbial Prince. Oh hey, that would make me a princess wouldn’t it? Hmmm I guess that just goes to prove that my dreams weren’t well formed. Heck I’m still embarrassed that Martina won the award for “most likely to succeed” at Primary School. In hindsight I put that down to confessing to wanting a career as an airline hostess. What was I thinking? Not to denigrate air hosties but you have to be NICE to passengers. I’m not cut out for “nice”.
Do we have an internal homing beacon that determines where we end up in our lives?
At about 15 years of age I hit on the idea that I might like to be a psychologist. I’d been reading a lot of books on psychology and about therapists who, after thoughtfully listening to people’s problems tell them what they need to do to fix their lives. I thought to myself. Yes! I can do that. I’m smart and intuitive; I can tell people how to fix their lives.
Unfortunately at that point I consulted the school’s career guidance counsellor who advised that I needed to go to med school.
Wrong.
I didn’t plan to be a doctor or a psychiatrist. I wasn’t having anything to do with blood or vomit, thank you very much. Disillusioned I left school and worked in a bank for several months before going to University to study business.
I don’t regret that decision. Although I can now see that the accounting and finance jobs that I worked in are anathema to a free-spirited personality that loathed structure and routine, I enjoyed the sense of achievement that came from mastering the roles and climbing the corporate ladder. The subsequent experience in high-level marketing, finance, strategic and marketing roles have given me a solid grounding enabling me to run my own business.
It took me a long time to get back to my early loves. For years I didn’t read any books at all and I all but forgot about my love of psychology. I never stopped wondering what made people tick, and from time to time I thought about studying psychology but every time I picked up a textbook my eyes glazed over at the mention of the amygdala and the central nervous system.
After many abortive attempts I finally got serious about psychology. I returned to my studies, I started reading everything I could find on psychology, health and self improvement. I put pen to paper and I hit the public speaking trail. At last I had found a way to indulge my passion for psychology.
Going back to my original questions I can’t help wondering what would happen if my visit to the career guidance counsellor had had a different outcome. What if I had followed his advice and become a psychiatrist? Would I still have ended up in the same place i.e. transitioning into writing books and researching what makes us tick and how we can improve our lives? Or would the business side of my personality have been unfulfilled. Perhaps I would now be retraining as an accountant?
This is part of the AW Blog Chain. Next in the series of articles Laurie writes about the route she took to becoming a writer.
Resources:
Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want
By Barbara Sher and Annie Gottlieb
This is one of my favourite books. It tells you how to find your "touchstone" to enable you to pursue the elements of your passion that are important to you. It also challenges you to think about the five different careers you might have liked to have. Very thought provoking and a wonderful resource.
The Celestine Prophecy: An Experiential Guide
By James Redfield and Carol Adrienne
Although it is based around the insights in The Celestine Prophecy this book includes psychology and science as well as the "woo woo" stuff on destiny, coincidences and life choices. There are some great exercises to help you identify patterns in your life. The book is not so much about career as the choices people make in their lives and how those choices help them find their life purpose. There is also some interesting discussion on control dramas including patterns from childhood and how we attempt to manipulate or are manipulated by others.
Absolute Write
Resources for writers. If you're interested in freelance writing, screenwriting, playwriting, writing novels, nonfiction, comic book writing, greeting cards, poetry, songwriting, etc etc then this is the place to go.
Participants in the AW Blog Chain #6
TaliaMana
Peregrinas
IndianRaj
Just a Small Town Girl
A View From the Waterfront
Southern Expressions
Mad Scientist Matt
Organized Chaos
At Home, Writing
Writing From Within
Pass the Torch
BCOM
Fireflies in the Cloud
Sounds of Serenity
Kappa no He
Infinite Vanity
Gillian Polack
Of Chapters and Reels
Curiouser and curiouser
The Road Less Traveled
Livien
awchain