Comments on Overcoming Life's Obstacles: Is Second Life the Ultimate Cyber-Addiction?

I finally gave myself, my family and my friends th...

2011-12-21T06:39:58.992+13:00

I finally gave myself, my family and my friends the Christmas gift that was on Santa's list for 6 years...> I am 3 weeks "sober" from SL! I have done things I am not proud of broken hearts in and out of the "game", I became anti-social and slacked at work, stayed up all night to "play" only to have a head on car accident falling asleep at the wheel. So many negatives it makes me really wonder why I stayed for so long even after all of this. I am a SL addict in recovery. The control of being able to navigate a life with cleaver words in dramatic fashion with the [X] so close at hand made me immortal invinceable and yeah I got HIGH off it. I meet a few people from "the game" (I am using quotes on purpose because what it was then is not what it is now for me)When I left SL I lost friends I thought were good, loyal REAL friends but the second you say.. how was your day all they can banter back is their SL activities of that day. I have told several of them... 'you know what I really don't want to here the drama's and he said/she said's of SL what else did you do today?' whelp that sums up that friendship they just stopped contacted me in the "outside world". I laugh a lot even though its been only 3 weeks because when you step out of this virtual euphoria you really see that you are merely a pawn in someone's game like so many were to me. I am not a bad person in real life I am actually sincere, loyal, loving and encouraging but man SL made me sneaky and definately not loyal it was MY SECOND LIFE and I "played" it my way... someday when someone hurts you the same way you wake up and its almost like a 'where am I?' feeling. Fortunately, I got out before I hit rock bottom but I got to close for comfort :(

I was depressed when I went into SL and I suppose ...

2011-11-13T04:07:03.319+13:00

I was depressed when I went into SL and I suppose I was vulnerable. I got involved with a man who told me I was his 'twin flame' and swept me off my feet. I've never felt anything like it and it was wonderful for a few weeks. He said he wanted to take it further than SL and meet me in real life because what we had was so wonderful. Then I found out he had other partners and was using other avatars to have a lot of one night stands. He had also met other women real life and said the same things to them as he'd said to me. I realised he had cyber sex addiction. I think he's also a sociopath cos he doesn't feel sorry about what he's done. He'll just continue, breaking other women's hearts. I felt really stupid till I talked to his other girlfriends who had all been taken in by him too. He's good at it, very convincing.
I think SL attracts men like him, who want to use and emotionally abuse women. My advice - don't go there and if you do don't meet anyone outside of it. I know that some people meet real life partners there but there aren't a lot. Most people I've talked to have had a terrible time emotionally.
I think the SL environment itself is seductive and addictive. If you add a man like the one cited above it's really dangerous. Three months on from my experience I'm still struggling to get over it.

I have been in SL for four and a half years. Durin...

2011-11-04T12:48:43.298+13:00

I have been in SL for four and a half years. During that time I have taken a six month break which was about two years ago. Apart from that every night after my daughter went to bed I was online rping sometimes till 3am, only to get up again at 7 for work/school. I cannot say that my work didn't suffer, I know damn well it did. I am only shocked at this point that I still retained my job. I did get pulled in and asked if I was okay, if anything was going on in my life so obviously the changes the game were having on me were noticable.

My family even got together to talk to me about it, which I got angry, defensive and did the usual "they are my friends, I don't get out as a single mum so this is my social life when my daughter is sleeping" I rationalized it all to myself and they ... were ... wrong.

Only they were right, this "game" is not a game. It involved your emtotions on a level I cannot explain unless you have been in sl and experienced it. It is like a drug, you need it and you need it all the time. My house work started to suffer, I didn't clean up as much as I did before. The laundry started to pile up as I would tell myself I would do that after the game only the time on sl never ended till it was time to pick up my child or someone came in the door. Everything and I mean everything was put on a back burner for SL.

You cannot tell me that the Linden's are not aware of this affect, they are not stupid. They know exactly how this affects some people but money comes first to them. A week ago I just left SL for the second and hopefully the last time of my life. This time is different than the last time as this time I have a hatred for the game I have not encountered before. Any of my friends that were close in the game (three in particular) have my email and know how to reach me. I have uninstalled my viewers, all of them. I have told these sl friends I have no wish to go back and they are accepting of this while admitting themselves that they also should leave but are not able.

All I know is I am done. I am done with missing out on my family. I am done on the missing moments of my child (even though I always made time for her, now she has all my time). I am getting out and socializing more but it has left me weary of games in general now. Facebook and email is as far as I will happily go.

I don't think you're over-reacting. This ...

2011-09-08T00:28:01.423+12:00

I don't think you're over-reacting. This isn't a game - it took me a while to admit that SL isn't just a role play simulation or a place to hang out - it's also a sex chat room. There are some people who go in there expressly for sex - and I don't care what anyone says - if you have a RL partner IT IS CHEATING. It's not just cheating cos of the sex (some couples agree its okay) but people get involved sometimes and can develop affairs of the heart. It then becomes dangerous and can ruin relationships. There's also an addictive element. I think if you're feeling jealous your partner should change his behaviour for you - if I learned one thing its that love should feel good and not hurt. Hope it works out for you. :)

I've been on sl since 2007. I recently introdu...

2011-09-05T04:04:27.960+12:00

I've been on sl since 2007. I recently introduced my boyfriend. He's become like a kid in a candy store. He keeps sl as sl-he doesn't talk to women outside of the role play. But he is on alot-and it started to become an issue. He hits on sl avatars-its a quest for him and at first i was ok with it. But now Im jealous-they have sex and I've read the IM's and it bothers me. He said he would stop the sex part -am I over reacting? We have a very close and amazing relationship-our time together is limited until we get married and move in together. At the present time we live in dif cities and are limited to one day a week to spend together.

I too got caught up in SecondLife. I got immersed...

2011-09-04T17:28:52.003+12:00

I too got caught up in SecondLife. I got immersed in creating a better me. But in doing so I was destroying my actual self. I did however meet people who were absolutely lovely people and that I considered them dear friends.

At one point I got bored with the game, but didn't want to quit for fear of losing my friends. So I tried other aspects such as building, creating content, etc... SecondLife is a game where it is created by its users. Coming from an artistic background, I was intrigued by this. I tried to use that as excuse to keep playing. I was creating art. Making photos and digital art. But it was still keeping me at a desk, keeping me away from doing things away from my computer.

I admit to a few times where I called into work, or skipped a class so I could stay home and hang out with my friends online.

It's not just SecondLife, its online social interaction. If you don't have a sense of self worth in your real life, its easy to get caught up in a virtual world to give yourself a sense of achievement that you are made to believe is real. But in reality, it is not. Its just a false sense of achievement.

I am still somewhat young and I can't speak for others, but I have realized that finding a sense of achievement in an online world is not healthy for me. Yes, I miss the small handful of friends I made, but trying to talk to them without mentioning the game is almost impossible.

I am working on making more friends without the use of the internet. Yes it is hard, awkward and sometimes lonely, but what isn't?

That's REAL LIFE.

I knew it was a big problem,SL, but I could have n...

2011-09-01T01:45:18.728+12:00

I knew it was a big problem,SL, but I could have never dreamed my marriage would end the way it did. My soon to be ex has been online gaming for years, she started SL 2 yrs ago. At times she would play 17 hours a day on days off, and be in front of the computer as soon as she got home from work. I tried to get her to interact in normal social situations, like eating dinner together, talking, watching tv, even just leaving the house. She detatched herself from me and my side of the family, to whom she was very close. After many times i tried to explain to her something was wrong, she said it was because I work too much, or she had nothing in common w me anymore. She then went on an unexplained vacation, when she came back I refused to sit around and pretend everything was OK. I knew it was over. we did counseling, I tried to get her to come around, but to no avail, she made it all my fault. Now many months after I was kicked out of my home, she has someone living in my house. I never expected that type of sociopathic, borderline behavior from someone that used to tell me she loved me everyday. Im disgusted, but actually happy that we will be divorced, because I have my REAL LIFE ahead of me. She was never honest, she could have told me there was someone else, but on top of all the sick behavior she lied. Look on the bright side people, we couldnt have lived a life with our partners doing so many horrible things behind our backs

The problem of men/women having multiple love affa...

2011-08-26T23:46:52.930+12:00

The problem of men/women having multiple love affairs in SL is quite common. People get their hearts broken this way. Some people target 'noobies' (new people) because they know they're naive and won't know what's going on. There are people who have multiple love affairs because they're hooked themselves and get a 'rush' (like with drugs) from the love affair - the chase, the capture, the sex etc. I believe I was targeted when I first went in and I was stupid enough to fall for it. I think that the feeling is the same as when people take drugs - so it is hard to get over. There's nothing like it in ordinary real life, so you want it again and again. In the end it will destroy you though, particularly if you're vulnerable or lonely. I'm working to improve my real life now. Want nothing more to do with fantasy of this kind.

I went into SL about three months and was picked u...

2011-08-25T23:30:22.305+12:00

I went into SL about three months and was picked up by a man who made me feel special. He gave me lots of 'love' and attention and I was swept off my feet. I became obsessed with him and SL seems dull when he's not there. I've since found out that he has multiple avatars and other women in love with him. I think he gets off on this. I don't go into SL anymore and don't have a problem with that. What I'm left with though is an obsession with a man I've never met. From a logical point of view it sounds ridiculous but it happened and I'm now coping with it. Wish I'd never heard of SL.....

Tonight I believe that s/l ended my marriage. My w...

2011-08-23T15:33:48.830+12:00

Tonight I believe that s/l ended my marriage.
My wife has lost her identity in real life for the fake one in second life. I feel like a real idiot, I enabled her to do this. Our real life has not been great, in fact money issues and other real life problems (most of my making) have made life hard. About a year and half ago she was introduced to s/l. At the time she spent a lot of time on the computer playing yoville and farmville on facebook. Once she became involved in s/l she pulled further and further away. Changing her sleep patterns, ignoring me and worst of all ingonoring our two children. Then I found out that she had been having affairs, telling other men that she loved them.
we fought and fought and finally I caved in and we set ground rules. I began playing. She had become involved in the BDSM community there. I tried it all out and found it to be fake and unfulfilling. My wife on the other hand got more out of it.
I found other things to do like building and I even did auctions. That part was rewarding. I continued to give her permission to do things because it seemed to be helping our relationship. Then I found out she was breakign our rules. Twice she got involved in an emotional relationship, and twice I forgave her thinking that eventually she would tire of the virtual world and come home.
Two months ago I was jailed for something I had done in the past. I was gone 53 days. I came home to a filthy house, unkempt children who had not ha a real home cooked meal since I left, who had not had a bedtime enforced or a bath in at least a week. My wife has 5 subs and now a partner on there. SHe has shut me out of it all.
She will not see that she is addicted.
She will not listen when I tell her that her online relationships hurt us. She spends 15 hours a day there. How can we work on our marital problems when she is not present?
Second Life is dangerous for people who have a weakness for addiction, who are in tough spots in real life. they wont work on the problems they simply escape to a virtual world where nothing can be accomplished. The sexual side of s/l brings out base, animal sides of personalities and the game itself changes the personality of the user. I have watched my wife mope when she cant sign on, cry when an affair ended.
The end for me was today. We made love for the first time in months. While we were doign this she looked up and asked me to do it with her sometime with an open mic at a place called Dirty Talk in s/l so others could hear! She cant have sex with her husband without thinking of a fake world.
I am so disgusted and hurt because I thought I was doing right by allowing the s/l life to go on. I enabled my wife to destroy herself and in doing so I enabled us both to destroy our marriage.
We have been both individually have been seeing a therapist for depression issues. I called her and she told me today that I will have to make a decision at some point to either stop trying and protect myself and the children or continue to enable her to do this because she wont see it for what it is. For the sake of my sanity and the welfare of my innocent, beautiful children I am putting a stop to this. Either she deals with the problem, takes a shower and starts caring about those people who love her or she will have to leave. I cant do this anymore.
If anyone has any advice, please PLEASE post it. I NEED HELP and I am so heartsick and lonely.

hi there. my wife used to p[lay SL constantly and ...

2011-08-21T01:09:07.692+12:00

hi there. my wife used to p[lay SL constantly and i must admit i did to for a while then i caught her having an afair on SL whith another guy. i forgave her but then caught her again & again in the end we split up for 2 years. i got back whith her 7 months ago she still plays SL (I dont)but was only playing it modoretly at first but its begining to be a problem now 6 7 8 9 even 10 hrs a day. when i kick of or complane she gets mad and very defencive. uses the excuse that she is making money. she is making money but spending it all then some to last month she spent £120 from my paypal i only found out coz i lookedat my records. she even has a facebook acount for her AV and reguarly updates her status always about something or other thats going on on SL. the problem is that even when she logs off SL she never realy is off coz then she is on her blackberry on face book (as her AV) or msn talkin to the ppl of there. im sure there is no man involved but surely its only a matter of time when ur on it that much ?. & i belive it obscures your judgement and powers of logical thaught when you play it that much becaus that becomes ur reality to your brain & thats all thats going round in iot even when your not on line.

SL almost ruined my life. I created my avatar just...

2011-08-10T20:32:48.554+12:00

SL almost ruined my life. I created my avatar just to see what the game was like. Well this happened at a time when my parents were ill and my father has since passed away. So it was a high stress time in my real life. I just became infatuated with my avatar and its life while hiding from my real one.
I made up my avatar to look like the sexy attractive person I always wanted to be and got involved in an sl relationship, bought land, clothes, hair and I don't remember what else. I still have no clue how much money I spent on there and I don't think I want to know. I was in a real life relationship for 11 years and was neglecting it for my virtual life as well as spending money I could have spent enjoying with my other half in real life.
They became upset with me whenever they saw me online. I thought it was irrational of them even when I would go to work after only 2 hours sleep and spent around $200 on virtual land I didn't see it as a problem. I would get annoyed with them and couldn't wait to for them to leave home for any reason so I could log into my virtual life. It got to the point where I preferred my virtual life and forgot how to live in real life. I couldn't wait to get off work to log on. It affected my work quality as well from the lack of sleep.
Anyway after a year something happened where my second life relationship broke up . I actually cried for real like it was my primary relationship. My real life partner came home and it was then it dawned on me I had someone in my real life I had neglected and didn't know them anymore. I was disgusted with myself. I logged off and haven't logged in again for two years now.

I am happy to say that I spend real time in my real relationship and have rediscovered living. We have since traveled and we are both happy. Out of curiosity I googled my old sl partners name and see they are still active with a whole narcissistic web site of their avatar posed in many model styles and looks. I felt sorry for them because I know they are addicted. I know the many hours they are online and know it is impossible to retain a fulfilling real life with the time I know they spend logged on to SL. I remember something I would always hear in SL. "I come here to escape my RL." It's so true. I am happy I found this site because it is an addiction and just the fact that I bothered to google my old SL life it shows it is still possible to get sucked in. I refuse to let it though. I just want to let anyone thinking that if spending several hours living life through an avatar is harmless know that it in fact could ruin your real relationships.
If you have someone special in your life now. Do not lose them to a fake life.

Hi, I live alone as I have chronic fatigue and dow...

2011-05-15T18:54:59.332+12:00

Hi, I live alone as I have chronic fatigue and downloaded SL out of curiosity and perhaps wanting to connect with others. A week later I realised it was fast getting out of hand... spending way to much time on SL, thinking about it etc. In one week I had 2-3 nights of no sleep and 2 simultaneous relationships - when they found out what was going on one girl was really angry with me and the other one pitied me. I ended up un-installing SL disgusted with myself.

I've always been quite cynical about politicians or the media complaining about gaming addiction etc but for those with issues in RL... SL can very fast get out of hand. Most people I spoke to in SL knew about addiction aspects to playing, the strong sexual/flirty goings on, nights playing straight etc etc.

I hope to stay off SL.. in short I found it really not good for my soul or my real life.

i lost my wife after 23 years, we have 4 kids and ...

2011-04-29T14:15:51.573+12:00

i lost my wife after 23 years, we have 4 kids and she spends all her time on sl. i think she is sick, but she will not let me help her! she has now cut all communacation with me and the kids.

JRR

Hi, I am someone with 2 avi's, one a guy, and ...

2011-04-22T15:44:33.691+12:00

Hi, I am someone with 2 avi's, one a guy, and one a girl. When I first started using second life, i was a bit obsessed sometimes, but only went on once a week, and for 4 hours. But now, I go on 3 or 4 times a week or sometimes 2, and the time I am on can be up to 7 or 8 hours at a time. Where I am right now, it is already 6:20 AM in the morning! I was trying to steal an SL baby before, and I was doing this through a female avi. i have befriended her now, and I am trying to find a way to get this baby, who is ridiculously cute! Dressed in pink, Latina, curly black hair, blue eyes, sweet pink pout, little hands, and cute little legs and feet, little button nose, rosy cheeks, tanned skin,she wears little pearl earrings, and also wears a pink headband.I can't even describe how cute she is! I'm in love with this baby, who isn't even real! And I can't get her! This woman ignores me most of the time, even after showing me the house where her and her avi husband live, and seeing all of her babies,including the one I love, lying down on her outdoor bed thing by her pool, and taking photos, lying next to her babies, in-between me and her husband. My male avi planned to get married to her, but found out she was a whore, since she had 4 other husbands, who she had a weird passion for having babies with, but refused to have one with my avi, so he broke it off with her. I begged through him for the child, but she ignored me. So I am being nice through my girl avi. I never wanted something sooooo bad, it's stupid, unhealthy, in fact! And this woman spends forever answering my IM's, ignores me, and only says hi now and again. Before me and her became friends, I asked if she could copy her baby for me, and she said no, since the baby can't be copied, is original and unique, and came from a pregnancy HUD. She helped me a bit later at first, but not enough, the store could not help me replicate the baby, and I asked this girl for more help, she acted like a neaurotic bitch, refused to help any more, and threatened to remove me off her list! This girl is physcho! I even installed Shade12, a 3D rendering program, but it is hard to use, takes so much time, only now did I find the instructions to do it, and I don't have time, and don't know how to transfer it into Second Life. Also, my guy avi is making money as a host, but not much. Hard for me to find a job for girl avi, too! Help!

I found SL nearly 3 years ago. Within weeks I was ...

2011-04-19T17:58:19.781+12:00

I found SL nearly 3 years ago. Within weeks I was totally hooked. I lived a "second life", one which included so many things I was (or thought I was) unable to enjoy in my RL. In an unrelated incident I lost my job, and then, I developed depression. SL became the escape. My life became SL. My depression symptoms worsened and I stopped cooking, cleaning, bathing, even going outside. At one point I actually spent an entire week indoors and on SL, only sleeping a few hours at a time and stopping only to make food which I would eat at the computer. I had numerous alts (alternative accounts), I lost count at 14, each one with a life and personality (some more in depth than others.) I married, had children, ran a business... (and more things I choose not to share), all while in a RL common law marriage of 7 years. All the while my health suffered, and I was falling apart physically, gained so much weight, my RL marriage was ending and then, my Father was diagnosed with Cancer. He asked me to come and care for him, and I refused - partly due to my depression (and by then a hard case of agorophobia and social anxiety had set in) and partly because there would be no internet where he lived - so, no SL. I hate admitting that and now that he's passed on, it's a guilt I live with. I actually took my laptop with me to his city when he went to the hospital for the last time and after seeing him each night I'd go back to my hotel and log in to SL. I was logged in to SL throwing a party for a large group of people when I got the call that he'd died.
Then, 2 weeks after I lost my Father I met someone in SL. We'll call her my SL/RL partner. She and I clicked like I never had with anyone. We match perfectly. She also lives 3000 miles away. 5 months after we met in SL we met in RL, taking a rendevous together for 3 weeks. We made the commitment to find a way to be together for good and both ended our RL marriages. It's been 14 months that we've maintained a LD relationship via email and Skype and we've taken it slow, both working hard in our RL's to be independent and emotionally healthy before taking the next step.
I've been seeing a counselor full time for over a year, lost 50lbs, I'm healthier than I have been in 10 years, enrolled in a women's program, and went back to work. But SL was still there in the background. About 4 months ago, after playing for nearly 5 years my SL/RL partner quit SL, cold turkey.
I on the other hand couldn't quit that easily, but I tried. I did well for about 2 months and then the desire drew me back in. I made myself a deal: I'd only log in to build and sell. But then she started seeing SL for the hell that it is, the danger it presents for people, and she watched me spend more time building in SL than working in RL and she started to become wary of ANY time I spent in-world.
A couple of weeks ago her mom passed away from the same cancer that took my Dad. The other night she saw me logged in and when she tried to reach me for support I was too engrossed in SL and didn't answer her. We nearly broke up over it. She says she feels she'll lose me to the addiction, and I know I let us both down after I had come so close to quitting successfully once already.
I promised to quit this time, to uninstall it fully, but I still haven't. I've quit playing my child av but I still have my store, I'm fighting myself right now to close it.
I can honestly say I am addicted, but feel I'm starting to get my head above water. I can clearly see what damage it does and I just want to get rid of it but the habit is so ingrained in me that I still sometimes wake up thinking about SL. I don't just want to quit, I NEED to quit. I love her too much to lose her, I love her more than SL... but why can't I just LEAVE? As I write this I'm preparing to uninstall SL.

I got in to SL to explore about 1 week ago. At fir...

2011-03-30T12:24:26.717+13:00

I got in to SL to explore about 1 week ago. At first it was fun and exciting. I ended up getting into the adult section and having chats and virtual "encounters" with (what I hope) were members of the opposite sex (at least their avatar looked like it). After finding myself up until 2 or 3 am for a few nights straight on SL, and being tired in the morning going to my regular work, I decided to CALL IT QUITS.

I uninstalled SL viewer and installed the "text only" version which is less appealing, but still allowed me to login and do some chat and maintenance on my avatar. Then one of my chat-partners found me and invited me into a sex room and I installed back the graphical SL viewer. After one last encounter, I decided that this was going to be harder to quit than I thought. So I gave all my Linden$ to friends and uninstalled the graphical SL viewer AGAIN.

I still have the text-only version but vowed not to get in except perhaps every few months to "refresh" my avatar. That describes my entire SL experience for the past week (end of March, 2011). If this can happen in only 1 week, can you imagine people that have been going at it for several years!?? It is more addictive than CRACK!

DearAnonymous, As a person who admits I have a re...

2011-02-04T09:14:29.124+13:00

DearAnonymous, As a person who admits I have a real addiction to SL I am sad to say if anyone had given me this blog before I was ready to admit my problem it wouldn't have helped me one bit. I would have read a few of the blogs and would have some how justified my need to be in SL just as I did for years.

I do wonder what would happen if all your siblings were to get together and speak of your need of being with her, not just outside the house but inside too and how much you have missed her. I do not know if that would have helped me cause frankly no one seemed to care if I isolated or not. I am just thinking it is worth trying and maybe if she could see some connection with you all during this time she might begin to realize there is fun and joy in RL too. Best Wishes, Vicki

I have played SL myself and found the building to ...

2011-01-25T17:32:56.878+13:00

I have played SL myself and found the building to be quite fun. I have not had any problem with getting addicted to the game. Someone in my family really dear to me is addicted and there is nothing i can do about it. Denial is in the works. This loved one will spend 24 hrs plus on SL. not to mention she sleeps in her chair with SL on. She fiscally is going through blood circulation problems, doesn't spend time with the family. Sometimes we will all go out together (once and a great while) My sibling and I will eat up her attention and dread going home, because we know as soon as we walk through the door she pops right on SL untill she gos to sleep. I cant say anything to her. shes real defensive about it. My lil Brother and sister both complain that they dont get to spend time with her. Dont get me wrong the game is great. But it is ruining family's. I have read everything above and its so astonishing on how many people have this problem. Im afraid with her lack of care of her own health this game will be the death of her. I have givvin her this Blog in hope of her to realize this issue, but she is so far gone into this other world im afraid it to late. My poor young sister has a dead beet father, and is constantly craving her mothers attention. She is a mommys girl and im afraid that one day she will have the same problem. Any ideas?

After 4 years of SL I have made a break. I told m...

2011-01-20T04:07:34.029+13:00

After 4 years of SL I have made a break. I told my SL friends (and I really do consider them my friends) that I needed to deal with RL issues and SL was preventing me. There are many losses in RL and I realized I SL to numbed me. I had a very rich SL full of good things ( I heard Sorvea sing at several concerts and many others, I enjoyed the art scene there as well, and exploring). I am totally addicted to SL and know the harm of it. My downfall was relationships. I only had two but that was two too many.

The dear friends i have met in SL (if they want to remain friends) can reach by email. I can't risk RL for an addiction anymore. I hope I can be true to this statement.

and I thought it was just me....time to quit alrig...

2011-01-19T07:30:08.618+13:00

and I thought it was just me....time to quit alright.....thanks for the blogs an the best of luck to all of us trying to get away from sl

My mom has been addicted to SL for over three year...

2011-01-08T14:26:40.160+13:00

My mom has been addicted to SL for over three years now. It has caused a huge rift in my family and has destroyed my parent's 26 year relationship. My parents were going to a marriage counselor 2 years ago, until my dad brought up my mom's addiction to Second Life. The counselor suggested that she cut back and spend more time on the relationship and the family. When they returned home, she was incredibly angry and blamed my father for her addiction. She then packed a bag, told him she was filing for divorce and left.

The divorce was finalized a few months ago, even after my Dad pleaded to reconcile, she refused. She now lives in a apartment by herself, with very little furniture. All she needs is her computer. She is in some kind of an online relationship with a man that she blindly hopes to have a real life relationship with, even though it is obvious to me that he has no intentions of ever taking it to that level. All of her free time is spent on her Second Life. She talks about her "friends on SL" as if they were a real, and integral part of her life, and she becomes extremely defensive if you try to confront her about her addiction.

This is not the first time she has abandoned our family for a cyber addiction. She also spent many, many years addicted to chat rooms. She was an absent mother, which forced me (the only daughter) to raise her own sons. I feel I have an obligation to my family, but at the same time, I also feel like I can't keep being their mother. I have spent my entire life in a parental position.

My Dad has been rendered useless, in a depressed stupor since the end of their relationship, and his struggle with his own personal demons has made him retreat from the family as well. My older brother is mentally challenged and requires a lot of attention, and because of the absence of my parents his health has declined. My younger brother's mental health has suffered from the stress. He has some pretty major social anxiety, and up until recently, spent the majority of his life holed up in his bedroom. I have tried to detach myself from the situation, but find myself constantly pulled back in. At this point; I'm just at a loss as to what I should do to help my family. I've been dealing with her addiction since I was 7 years old. I am now 22.

I haven't shared this story with anyone. I am embarrassed by it. It's hard for me to believe that a game has been the cause of all of this stress, but the reality is, that it has. I hope that by sharing my story, other people will realize how harmful this "harmless" game really is.

I am an SL Player, My avatars name is Sorvea Perdi...

2010-12-14T11:29:52.227+13:00

I am an SL Player, My avatars name is Sorvea Perdide.

I may have quit Second Life after a month, had I not learned about the concert scene.

I don't know if I could count myself as an SL addict or not. Some days I want to cry and say I'm addicted, but other days I shrug and say, "No I'm not."

I sing on SL, and this will bring me anywhere to $40 - $120 per week, depending on the # of sets I do. This is in US currency. This money goes into a savings account to be put away for real life traveling and vacations.

Here's how a week of my life goes

Sunday: Chill around the house/cleaning my room, clothes, sheets, till I have to do a set on SL about 7:00 PM SLT, after that, I chat a bit, then it's Beddy by time about 8:30 SLT

Monday: Wake up, Go to the Office, shoot caffieen directly into my veins, work till about 3:00 PM SLT, have dinner with the fam (fam consists of my mom, dog, and cat) Head onto SL at 5:00 PM SLT for a concert set, and then chat with some friends, then beddy by time about 7:00 PM SLT

Tuesday: Same as monday, but no SL for me! Ballroom dancing class! Owwwie my feet! Soak and sleep.

Wednesday: Same as above, till 3:00 PM, get home, din din, check out the TV, Log onto SL at about 6:00 PM SLT for my Concert Set, then Beddy By time about 7:00 PM

Thursday: Would be another Me-day, however, we are having a play in SL for Christmas. However, mostly watching TV, or checking out shows on HuLu. I may do some cone jumping on SL on an alt so no-one bothers me while I'm watching my shows X-D

Friday: OooooWeee... got two concerts, One at 6:00 PM SLT, then another at 8:00 PM SLT. Shrug off to bed about 9:30 and hit the Zzz's as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Saturday: I hardly even touch SL, unless no-one wants to go anywhere, then I watch some TV, or read a book while cone jumping on an alt, but if I'm not in the mood for even that, I probably won't even log into SL, not till I start reading a book on SL for the kiddo's at 7:00 PM SLT. Then Beddy By at 9:30 PM SLT.

So take a look at my week to week life. If I wasn't making a little money bit by bit on Second Life, I probably wouldn't be on at all, but the money comes in handy when I run short of cash at the end of the month, or I want to take off on a weekend geta-way somewhere. I don't feel the heebie geebies if I don't play for a day or so, but I will get 72 msgs of "OMG!! Where were you???" and I just replay with "Real Life came up"

Thanks for your time ^_^

It is so sad to see how many lives SL is hurting a...

2010-11-28T17:34:37.520+13:00

It is so sad to see how many lives SL is hurting and destroying. My husband and I are on the teetering edge of divorce as he is trying to battle his addiction. ANYONE who is lonely or at a low point in their lives is susceptible to this "game". It is the crack cocaine of the internet.

After two months off, and trying hard to save what was actually a decent marriage and three beautiful children (and $60,000 of lost income) there is still a sparkle of joy and curiousity when my husband talks of SL....despite the pain he has seen and feels so badly for causing.

If you are on SL, please seek the help of a therapist to get you off. Beware it is like an alcoholic hanging out in a bar in terms of the culture that exists there---remember, experienced players leaving the game makes it less fun for others so they will me manipulative in trying to make you stay.

It is a program that leads to harm...I am not a prude but it seems to me a bit like Lord of the Flies in terms of the lack of morality that is prevalent, accepted. Lying is the game so lying is condoned, under the pretext of curiousity and fantasy.

I have been in SL for a little over a year. Like m...

2010-10-05T04:54:04.540+13:00

I have been in SL for a little over a year. Like most here it was a enjoyable time killer at first, but after awhile I realized it wasn't a time killer but a priority to be logged in to SL.
After two relationships in SL, with inevitable endings, too replace the lost ones in RL. I have been thinking about leaving for awhile as I approached a year of playing the game.
Second Life will become an addiction, with that said I have finally decided to stay out of the game. Nothing productive will come out of playing SL, you can justify the time from building, scripting, making money, but the reality of it is that it isn't real.