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Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times Best-selling author has written a new book on happiness, which she says will help people find the feelings of inner peace and life satisfaction which she describes as the "Happy For No Reason" state.

Marci describes experiencing a lot of external factors that she expected to make her happy and couldn't understand why she felt dissatisfied and unhappy. She decided to investigate the source of happiness and find out why some people could be happy for no reason at all!

As part of her quest Marci interviewed people from all walks of life to find out what made them happy. One of the questions she asked was, “What do you think is the most important thing necessary to experience the Happy for No Reason state?” The result was what Marci describes as the 21 Happiness Habits.

You can download a free sample from her book, which includes the 20 key questions that Marci says determine your state of happiness and your "happiness set point" and listen to a replay of her free teleseminar online or download it to your mp3 player. You can also send her your question on being Happy from the inside out in your personal and professional life.

Social climbing can prevent stress-related diseases

An interesting article in Prevention suggests that perceiving yourself as being high on the social ladder can increase your life expectancy.

Picture a ladder with 10 rungs, each representing a higher level of social prestige than the one just below it. At the top of the ladder are the leaders in your community--the good neighbors, parent coaches, Girl Scout leaders, and church elders. At the bottom are the residents who you feel have little status. Now, ask yourself which rung you occupy. You see yourself near the top? Congratulations! The reward for your high self-regard is the promise of a long and healthful life.

"People who perceive themselves as high on the social ladder--regardless of their actual educational degree or size of their paycheck--are less likely to suffer from a range of health problems, including depression, insomnia, and certain risk factors for heart disease."

Read the rest of the social climbing article from Prevention.

Happiness is an Illusion

What we think of as happiness is an illusion, at least according to Daniel Gilbert in his book, Stumbling on Happiness.

I read this tome thinking that a book with happiness in the title might provide some guidance on achieving happiness. In reality, this book is less about happiness than it is about how we think, how we perceive events and things, how we imagine our future and how we remember our past.

Stumbling on Happiness is a collection of interesting psychological facts and research with only a tenuous link to the science of happiness. The book offers some fascinating trivia about how we think, illustrated with witty anecdotes and scientific research on our metaphorical and physiological blind spots.

You will learn why being rich doesn’t make you happier and discover some of the elements of happiness.

When we have an experience – hearing a particular sonata, making love with a particular person, watching the sun set from a particular window or a particular room – on successive occasions, we quickly begin to adapt to it, and the experience yields less pleasure each time. Psychologists call this habituation, economists call it declining marginal utility, and the rest of us call it marriage.

Gilbert uses this principle of declining returns to explain why a lot of the things we expect to make us happy, don’t. People who have enough money to meet their basic needs for food, clothing and shelter, are only slightly less happy than multimillionaires.

However, most of the examples provided by Gilbert are only loosely related to happiness, and instead illustrate his point that our perceptions are often skewed. According to Gilbert, we have a poor grasp of reality, misremember the past and are frequently wrong in our predictions of the future. The bottom line? We are clueless when it comes to imagining what will make us happy, but we are happy about being deluded.

He comes up with some surprising statistics.

Despite what we read in the popular press, the only known symptom of “empty nest syndrome” is increased smiling.

Careful studies of how women feel as they go about their daily activities show that they are less happy when they’re taking care of their children than when eating, exercising, shopping, napping or watching television.

He believes that we convince ourselves that children bring happiness as a way of ensuring that we breed and stay around long enough to bring up the rug rats, rather than because the activity of childrearing is a source of joy.

The implication is that delusions and illusions are bad, and we should exist in reality. The counterargument to this is that if you believe you’re happy, then you are. After all, isn’t happiness a state of mind?

I don’t agree with all of Gilbert’s conclusions. For example, he suggests that people continue to choose romantic partners that are bad for them because they forget their negative characteristics and instead focus on the fond memories. I disagree. Forgetting the negative characteristics of past partners is only one possible explanation for seeking the same type of partner, over and over. It’s also possible that the individual has low self-esteem, is a poor judge of character, is attempting to avoid commitment or believes that they deserve exactly the partner they get.

Another flaw is that the book overlooks mental illness and emotional health issues. People with anxiety disorders and depression have negative cognitive distortions. Gilbert’s book focuses on positive cognitive distortions, ignoring an aspect of thinking that affects a large portion of the population at least some of the time.

Someone who has experienced a major trauma, may be haunted by this for the rest of their lives, experiencing nightmares, flashbacks and both physical and emotional signs of stress (PTSD). Gilbert glosses over this possibility, describing the resilience of humans and their ability to bounce back from tragedy, using examples such as Superman Chris Reeve. The reality is that some people are slow to recover, and a small number never recover from tragedy.


The solution
If we are lousy at imagining how we will feel in the future, how do we make decisions today that will make us happy tomorrow?

The only solution Gilbert puts forward is to find someone who is going through the exact situation we are anticipating and learn from their wisdom. Many of us learn from our parents, our teachers and other coaches who offer advice.

However, an equal number of us prefer the freedom to make our own choices and disregard perfectly good advice so we can find out for ourselves that the good looking man we met last month is a louse, that our sister will never change and that eating a jumbo pizza and an ice cream sundae always leaves us feeling bloated.


In the end the book raises more questions than it answers, but it is worth reading if you’re interested in psychology and want to learn more about the way we think.

Why Good Things Happen to Good People

New research proves the link between doing good and living a longer, healthier, happier life.

Rock-n-roll legend Billy Joel sang, “Only the Good Die Young”, but Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine bioethics professor Dr. Stephen Post, Ph.D., believes that the good live well.

“Sometimes, the good do die young,” he said. “But studies prove indicate that ‘the good’ are happier, healthier and live a little longer.”

In the new book, Why Good Things Happen to Good People, Dr. Post and journalist Jill Neimark weave the growing new science of love and giving with moving real-life stories to show how giving unlocks the doors to health, happiness, and a longer life.

“This book represents a dream come true for me,” said Post. “It’s dream that began when I was 16 years old. Most of my life has been focused on the science and philosophy of positive emotions and giving behaviors.”

Post has devoted much of his adult life to scientific research that sets out to prove the life-enhancing benefits of giving behavior. He serves as president of the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love, which conducts and funds research on altruism, compassion and service. His research shows that when we give of ourselves, especially if we start young, everything from life satisfaction to self-realization and physical health is significantly improved. Mortality is delayed. Depression is reduced. Well-being and good fortune are increased.

In this new book, Post distills academic research into an inspirational message. The research includes a 50-year study showing that people who are giving during their high school years have better physical and mental health throughout their lives. Other studies show that older people who give live longer than those who don't. Helping others has been shown to bring health benefits to those with chronic illness, including HIV, multiple sclerosis, and heart problems. And studies show that people of all ages who help others on a regular basis, even in small ways, feel happiest.

Why Good Things Happen to Good People tells the stories of lives transformed by giving. Its “love and longevity scale” allows readers to test their own habits of giving, and a chapter-by-chapter plan teaches readers how to change their own lives. According to Post, using the lessons and guidelines in each chapter, you can create a personalized plan for a more generous life, finding the style of giving that suits you best.

“This book captures great new science, great stories, practical self help, and even a carefully validated scale so readers can assess themselves in 10 different ways of doing unto others,” he said.

Participate in Well-Being Research

SWB Research is running a week long "daily diary" study. This involves completing a brief 3-minute survey each day over an 8-day period. Participants are then presented with feedback about their well-being during this one-week period.

SWB stands for 'subjective well-being' and refers to a person's own sense of wellness (e.g., how happy and satisfied you are with your life). There is no single measure of SWB. Instead, when psychological researchers study well-being, they often choose to focus on particular aspects of SWB. This includes but is not limited to: satisfaction with life in general, satisfaction with specific aspects of life (e.g., relationships, work, school, etc.), how often one experiences positive and negative emotions, and a sense of purpose and meaning in life.

This study focuses on emotions, daily satisfaction, and satisfaction with various aspects of life. Click here to sign up for the daily diary study

Gretchen's Tips for Lasting Happiness

Last weekend I had the pleasure of interviewing the very happy Gretchen Rubin, a writer working on The Happiness Project — an account of the year she spent test-driving principles about how to be happy, from the wisdom of the ages to current scientific studies; from Aristotle to Ben Franklin to Martin Seligman. On her blog The Happiness Project, she reports her daily adventures on her way to becoming happier.

Rubin is a graduate of Yale Law School and was editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal. She was clerking for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she had the epiphany that she really wanted to be a writer.

Her bestselling Forty Ways To Look At Winston Churchill and Forty Ways To Look At JFK are succinct, provocative biographies. Power Money Fame Sex: A User’s Guide is biting social criticism in the form of a user’s manual. She also has three terrible novels safely locked in a desk drawer!

Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two young daughters. I asked her about her writing and The Happiness Project.

What prompted you to embark on The Happiness Project?
One rainy afternoon a few years ago, as I was staring out the window of a taxi, a realization jolted me so violently that I jumped in my seat. I suddenly saw that years were slipping by, and I was ignoring the great fundamentals of my life.

“What do I want?” I asked myself. “Well…I want to be happy.”
But I never thought about what made me happy, or how I might be happier, or even what it meant to be “happy.”

I’d always vaguely expected to outgrow my limitations. One day, I’d magically stop twisting my hair, and wearing running shoes every day, and eating oatmeal for lunch and dinner. I’d remember my friends’ birthdays, I’d fix up our apartment, I wouldn’t let my daughter watch TV during breakfast. I’d read make more time for reading. I wouldn’t lose my temper any more, I’d spend more time laughing and having fun, I wouldn’t nag my husband, I wouldn’t be scared to drive.

But now, it dawned on me that I was already grown up—and I wasn’t living up to the level that I should expect of myself. If I wanted to be happier, I’d have to do some work.

“I need to think about this,” I reflected. “I should have a happiness project. Or maybe,” I thought, “I should write a book about a happiness project.” Eureka!

How would you describe yourself before starting the project?
Before I started this project, I was fairly happy and satisfied with my life. One thing that surprised me was that as soon as I started to think about how I could be happier, I realized how happy I was already. My appreciation for my life increased dramatically, once I examined it.

Have you ever been depressed?
I’ve certainly been “blue” many, many times, sometimes for quite a stretch of time, but I’ve never been clinically depressed.

In what ways have your attitudes, thoughts or beliefs changed during this project?
The key question I had when I started The Happiness Project was—does any advice actually work? Can you really make yourself happier? After all, the “set-point” theory holds that an individual’s level of happiness doesn’t fluctuate much, except very briefly. I was skeptical about the usefulness of a happiness project—but hopeful.

During the year, I tried dozens of different strategies to try to be happier. So, did it work? Did this effort actually make a difference in my relationships? Did it make any difference to my happiness?

Absolutely. I spent more time with the people I love; I made new friends; I had more fun. And apart from the direct benefit to my relationships, because I’m acting more loving, I feel more loving, and that in itself is a form of happiness.
So I’ve really become convinced that it’s possible to take steps that will make us happier.

What are your top five tips for lasting happiness?

1. As basic as it is, you must get enough sleep, and you must exercise. Study after study backs up the importance of these elements to a happy life. So get out and take a walk, and turn off the light at a decent hour.
2. Figure out ways to have fun. Have dinner with your friends, make time for hobbies.
3. Act the way you wish you felt. If you’re feeling crabby, act loving. If you’re feeling tired, act energetic. If you’re feeling shy, act friendly. It really works!
4. Get rid of things that make you feel annoyed or guilty. Make that appointment to get a skin cancer check, call your grandmother, replace a lightbulb, clean a closet, answer an old email.
5. Whenever possible, connect with other people. Show up. Make plans. Join a group. Go to a party.

How important is money to happiness?
That’s a very complicated subject. But I believe that the answer, in a nutshell, is this: It depends.

• It depends on what kind of person you are. (Do you have a passion for collecting art or for renting movies?)
• It depends on how you spend your money. (Is your money buying cocaine or college?)
• It depends on how much money you have relative to the people around you, and relative to your own experience. (Are you richer or poorer than most of your friends and family? do you have more or less than you did in the past?)

In general, money does help boost happiness, though that does not mean that mere possession of a fortune guarantees happiness.

What makes you happy?
My family. My friends. Reading and writing. Positive reinforcement of all kinds—I have a real craving for achievement, praise, etc. Exercise. Living in an orderly environment.

Who has been most influential in this journey?
For reasons that are obscure to me, I have been tremendously affected by the life and writing of St. Therese of Lisieux.

How did you go from being a clerk for the U.S. Supreme Court to being an author and social critic?
I realized that I wanted to make this switch in 1995, when I was taking a lunchtime walk around the Supreme Court in Washington. I had fabulous legal credentials—Yale Law School, editor-in-chief of the Yale Law Journal, then clerking for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor—but in an instant, staring up at the Capitol dome, I realized what I really wanted to do: I wanted to write a book about power, money, fame, and sex. It took some time, but eventually I switched careers, moved to New York City, started writing, and five years later, the book Power Money Fame Sex hit the stores.

At the time, I thought I had a tough time getting my first book published, but now that I know more, I realize that I had a very easy time of it.

I have to ask about Power Money Fame Sex: A User's Guide. First, can you give a brief outline of the book?
It is an examination of power, money, fame, and sex – what steps people can follow to get power, money, fame, and sex. I think you could describe it as Machiavellian in tone.

Now I'm curious – what does this book say about the self-help industry and about people's ability to improve themselves and their lives?
To me, this book is really an examination of human nature. I wanted systematically to explore these worldly ambitions and understand the methods by which people pursued them. I’ve always loved the self-help format, so it was fun for me to plug my analysis into that structure.

Are you saying that achievement and success equates to personal emptiness?
For some people, success is an attempt to overcome personal emptiness. For others, success is enormously gratifying and fulfilling, and acts as a helpful goad.

How far do you think people can go in changing themselves?
It’s clear that about 50% of temperament is determined by genetics. Nevertheless, I do firmly believe – and science backs me up – that while each person’s range is different, we all push ourselves up or down by the actions we take. We can make ourselves happier by doing things like exercising, helping others, and seeing friends; we can make ourselves unhappier by staying up too late night after night; isolating ourselves; brooding on feelings of anger or irritation, etc.

In the News: The pursuit of happiness

There is an excellent article in Newsweek discussing men and depression.

the facts suggest that, well, men tend not to take care of themselves and are reluctant to own up to mental illness. Although depression is emotionally crippling and has numerous medical implications—some of them deadly—many men fail to recognize the symptoms. Instead of talking about their feelings, men may mask them with alcohol, drug abuse, gambling, anger or by becoming workaholics.

NBC have been running a series on The Pursuit of Happiness. You can check out the article and a video on happiness and the links to health as well as a quiz on life satisfaction.

There's a Detroit study of nuns that started in the 1930s. In the nuns' diaries, researchers looked at references to positive words and number of different types of positive words. Those nuns who had most references to positive feelings and positive words lived nine years longer than nuns with more negative thoughts.

Part of having a positive emotional style is a feeling of calmness. Research shows that happier people have a lower resting pulse at work, as well as at leisure.

Pursuit of money linked to depression

British psychologist Oliver James warns that the compulsive pursuit of money and possessions is making people richer but sadder.

The idea that chasing material success doesn’t lead to happiness is not a new one. However, James’ book Affluenza is the first to explicitly link the pursuit of flash cars, boats and clothes to depression. According to James there is currently an epidemic of 'affluenza' throughout the world - an obsessive, envious, keeping-up-with-the-Joneses - that has resulted in huge increases in depression and anxiety among millions.

Studies in lots of different nations show that if you place high value on those things, you are more likely to suffer depression, anxiety, addictions and personality disorders

These findings, are supported by Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology. In his book, Authentic Happiness, which discusses happiness and life satisfaction he proposes the following formula for happiness:

H = S +C + V
H: Your enduring level of happiness
S: Your set range (includes genetic predisposition to happiness)
C: Your life circumstances
V: Factors under your voluntary control

Seligman’s conclusion? Approximately half of your score on happiness tests can be accounted for by your gene pool (nature). The other half depends on what happens to you, how you react to it and the decisions you make in life (nurture).

Interestingly, being wealthy isn’t what makes you unhappy despite the cliché of the unhappy rich.

Wealth has a surprisingly low correlation with happiness level. Rich people are, on average, only slightly happier than poor people.
Real income has risen dramatically in prosperous nations over the last 50 years but the level of life satisfaction has been entirely flat in most wealthy nations

Instead, James and Seligman posit that people who value money more than other goals are less satisfied with their lives as a whole.

If you would like to participate in Positive Psychology research you can sign up here

For an online forum on depression click here

Are you happy? Tips to improve your mood

When you're happy life is better. You enjoy activities more and the flow-on effect on your health is considerable. Happy people have stronger immune systems, are better able to cope with stress and bounce back from illness more rapidly than unhappy people. According to RealAge:

Taking care of your emotional health and well-being can make your RealAge up to 16 years younger.

Incredible! I knew stress could age you, but 16 years? I like the idea that being happy and lowering negativity and stress can add years to my life, but 16 years is a little hard to believe. Still, it would be nice to think that being happy and emotionally stable could reap such benefits.


Small acts can add up to long-term satisfaction
Scientific American explains the difference between short-term joy and long-term satisfaction and describes how to make a habit of happiness

According to psychological surveys, factors that can strongly contribute to this state are financial security, a well-ordered social environment and a trusting relationship.

Are you happy? Take the Test
You can test your levels of happiness and satisfaction with life at the Postive Psychology Center


Perfectly yourself: 9 Lessons for Enduring Happiness
Have you ever been told "you can achieve anything you set your mind to"?

The self-help mantra dictates that you reach for the stars believing anything is possible. Matthew Kelly defies conventional wisdom and suggests that some things simply are not possible. If you set goals that don't suit your talents your chances of success are limited. This is not to say you can't achieve magnificent things, but the pressure of always reaching for the ultimate goal may stop you from reaching authentic happiness.

Perfectly Yourself is for anyone who has ever failed at a diet, survived the collapse of a relationship, or wondered if he or she will ever find a fulfilling career. It’s a book for all of us who long to be at peace with who we are, where we are, and what we are doing, not in some distant tomorrow but here and now–today.

This is an interesting book, with sane advice for people who are struggling to find the path to happiness and satisfaction.


4 Tips on Using Mindfulness to Change Your Mood
Mindfulness is recommended as a remedy for stress, anxiety and depression. Cathy Wong shows you how to use mindfulness to improve your mood.


20 Simple Ways to Get Happy
Finally in our selection of tips for happiness, Reader's Digest provides some wonderful advice for improving your mood

Happiness can not be found in a box of chocolates

According to Prevention food and alcohol do nothing to lift your mood. They cite a study showing that food has no effect on mood. Instead they suggest you can get a quick mood boost by looking at your favourite photos. Hmmm, I wonder what the effect is if your favourite photo is of chocolates and champagne?

While this is a healthy approach to finding happiness I feel that the writer has failed to understand the underlying mechanisms of emotional eating. The reality is that many emotional eaters find food calming - if eating didn't quiet unpleasant emotions then people would stop doing it!

I believe researchers would have different results if they tested the effect on mood of chocolate, alcohol, music and photographs when the participants were feeling stressed, anxious or bored.

What do you think? Does food and alcohol change your mood?
Discuss emotional eating at our free forum

Listen to Bach to lift mood and creativity

Researchers at the University of Toronto have made an interesting discovery about the link between mood and challenging tasks.

Happiness proves to be a distraction if you need to concentrate, but for creativity and problem solving a good mood could unlock answers hidden in the recesses of your mind. Read more here

According to Professor Anderson:

"If attention is like a spotlight, then a good mood will widen that spotlight, while a negative mood will focus it very tightly."

In the News

A quick round up of the latest news on happiness, eating, psychology and health...

Laughter really is contagious!

Scientists have proved what we already know - If you want to keep your friends laughing in the aisles then it starts with you. Yes, laugh and others will laugh too. What a nice virus to spread at Christmas.

Christmas is more stressful for women

Apparently the burden of preparing for Christmas falls on the shoulders of women.

"Men depend on the wives and moms and sisters to do it. That's just the way it
is," said shopper Adelene Adino.

Women have to cook and clean, shop, organise extra beds for guests, wrap presents and all the other little things that accompany the Festive Season. Waaah! I need a wife.

Beat your addictions in luxury

Does anyone remember the book Rachel's Holiday, by Marian Keyes?

It's one of my all-time favourite books about a drug addict who is sent to the Cloisters for recovery. She imagines herself staying in a luxury lodge surrounded by movie stars, and is disgusted to find herself treated like a skivvy, cooking and cleaning followed by revealing group therapy sessions.

Well, it may be too late for Rachel but it seems that you can now recover from alcohol, sex and drug addiction in spa-like settings.

Malibu alone has 12 rehab centers, most of them high end, leading Malibu
Mayor Ken Kearsely to dub the wealthy coastal city "Drug Rehab Heaven."

Happy People are Healthier

According to a recent study happy people are less likely to get colds.

Although this is not a new discovery, the study highlights that people who exhibit positive emotions, such as happiness, are less likely to catch colds. Further, even if they do catch colds happy people are likely to recover more quickly and report fewer symptoms. In the past these results have been attributed to a variety of positive emotions including optimism (for example in Martin Seligman's Learned Optimism) and self-esteem.

The most amazing part is that they found "victims" willing to be infected with viruses to test this theory - not a job I'd want to take on!

Check out my free forum on emotional eating, depression, stress management and more...