"Disconnect" Doesn't Have to Be a Bad Thing

The Importance of Downtime

I had every intention of posting here this past week while Talia took a much-deserved break. Maybe it was because I entertained people five out of six days over the long Memorial Day weekend. Or maybe it was due to not scheduling any time for myself. But by Wednesday, I was totally out of sorts and behind on all my planned work this past week.

As a therapist, I know the importance of building quiet, reflective time into our insanely hectic schedules. It's a key component of my own mental and physical well-being. So I should know better, right? I emphasize this to my patients all the time, especially if they are experiencing high levels of stress and/or anxiety.

But it seems people don't have a value for this "downtime" that is so important to our functioning. When I look around, everyone seems to be in constant contact with someone - work, family or friends and even strangers! Wikipedia defines downtime as, "Downtime refers to a period of time or a percentage of a time span that a machine or system (usually a computer server) is offline or not functioning, usually as a result of either system failure (such as a crash) or routine maintenance. The opposite is uptime."

It seems ironic that the reference above applies to our current technology; the same technology that allows us to send text messages, call and IM each other, and maintain our connectivity. Another techno-derived buzzword I hear often is "disconnect." In business, disconnect ofter refers to a breakdown in communication or a systemic problem. Both "downtime" and "disconnect" therefore have very negative connotations. But both are vital for our good health!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc"™ , a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an keynote and kickoff speaker, "Motivational Humorist," a team building and organizational development consultant, and is America Online's "Online Psychohumorist"™. Mr. Gorkin has also written two books, Practice Safe Stress and The Four Faces of Anger.

I asked Gorkin to share some thoughts about the importance of disconnecting. He sees us as having become “ruthlessly connected. It’s getting to the point that people can’t tolerate silence, they become hypersensitive to it.” He illustrates this with an old story about Edmond Hillary’s son. “When he reached the summit of Mount Everest, he immediately called his father! Aren’t there some things that you want to savor in their natural, purest moment?!”

A concern that Mr. Gorkin and I share is how stressful this constant connectivity can become. Gorkin says,

“Studies show that with all stress, we eventually adapt to it. It begins to affect our health, especially when our bodies become adapted to higher and higher levels of adrenaline.”

Can this behavior be unlearned? Can we be “trained” to value quiet time to ourselves, to disconnect? My wish is that people begin to see the benefits of downtime before their mental and/or physical health is compromised and it becomes a necessity. Gorkin cites a hopeful example during a program he recently presented to lobbyists.

“When I was doing my presentation, one of the lobbyists stood up and boldly declared that he turns off his phone to work for 2 hours every day so he can have some quiet time to himself.”

Even though this act is not supported by this man’s work culture, he has made a healthy decision for himself.

So give it a try. Disconnect. Schedule downtime in your daily planner. Turn off your phone. It won't feel natural at first, but keep trying!