There has been a lot written recently about the so-called "happiness/positive psychology" movement. I'm not sure why, but that has provoked a negative reaction in me; maybe because some of the literature has presented it as an innovative, ground-breaking thought - "be happy!" I think most of us would agree, achieving some level of happiness in our lives is a fundamental goal. But it concerns me that much like the latest fad diet, achieving happiness is presented as a simplistic 1-2-3-step formula in a typical pop-psychology, self-help format.
A blogging colleague, TherapyDoc, expressed a similar opinion re: positive psychology in this post: The Sunny Side of Therapy: :) :) :). I agree with one very important point - the power of positive thinking is great, but not always a viable quick fix for folks who suffer from clinical depression or other psychiatric disorders. Cognitive restructuring (learning to recognize negative and/or non-productive thinking patterns) is a basic tenet of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT certainly could be labeled "positive psychology", but unlike some of the current literature, it is a proven theory and therapy method used to treat depression and anxiety and backed by years of scientific research.
So how can tapping into positive energy be applied to treating patients in therapy and also our everyday lives? When I worked in a drug and alcohol treatment program, one very effective and important aspect of recovery for patients was the concept of "gratitude." All the alcoholics/addicts I know are very adept at listing a litany of negative aspects of their lives. So a frequent homework assignment I gave was - make a "gratitude list" of 6-10 things every night. Most lists contained being grateful for another day of sobriety - that was easy. But this assignment almost always precipitated a much deeper self-examination and began a process of reframing their thinking processes.
Now I challenge patients to make a daily gratitude list. I ask couples in therapy to share their gratitude lists with each other. It helps them focus on the positive aspects of their relationships and lives. I apply it to my own life when I am having a particularly whiny, negative day.
I recently came across a therapist colleague's writing that inspired me. Although the content relates more to our spiritual lives, I think it also applies to gratitude. For me, it was thought-provoking and also an important reminder.
My son interviewed me for a high school assignment, inquiring how parents balance personal, family and work life. He asked questions to determine how daily time was divided. I was surprised to discover that I spend an hour a day on spiritual development. I have infused Spirit into my day effortlessly over the years, which has enriched life for me and those with whom I come in contact. Here are a few tips on how one might integrate Spirit without "robbing" time from family or work:
Including Spirit In Each Day
by Cheryl Meisterman, Ph.D., LISW
Wife, Mother of three, Psychologist, Social Worker
- Upon awakening, think of four things for which you are grateful
- Close your eyes and breathe deeply three times, think about the gift of breath
- Listen to inspiring audio books or music in the car or while walking with earphones
- Pray for guidance and wisdom, throughout the day
- Meditate for peace while doing repetitive chores: washing dishes, gardening, setting the table, mowing the lawn, etc.
- Be in nature daily and give thanks for the wonders around you
- Light a candle and give thanks for the light
- Give thanks at the end of the day for the opportunities granted and for the people you love
- Sing or play an instrument with thanks for that ability
- Recognize beauty in simple things (the smell of food, the touch of plants, the comfort of pets, etc.)
- Read 15 minutes of inspirational literature daily
- Do something nice for someone else daily
My family recites nightly prayers. No need to wait until bedtime to talk to Spirit. We have the blessings to connect any second of the day.
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Try making your own daily gratitude list and also time for the spiritual part of your lives. 
Thank you for sharing these little things...they can help us overcome the big things! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis really speaks to me. I believe in the mind-body connection and the power of meditation. However, thinking happy thoughts doesn't always chase the blues away. If there's an underlying malfunction in brain chemistry, you can't just think yourself happy any more than you can think yourself out of cancer or any other disease.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I feel we can all benefit from the conscious exercise of thinking good thoughts and doing good things. My ongoing note-to-self is "Do one good thing today." This morning I called my elderly mother-in-law to see how she's doing after a recent fall. No matter how lousy my day gets, I've already done my one good thing, and that makes me happy.
Hi Carrie and Ann:
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to post comments.
I believe that anything that takes us out of our "me-centered" world is a good thing. Personally, if I am focused on negative things in my life, an action or gesture that involves someone or something else helps me think a bit more clearly.
And Ann, you hit on a very important facet of the "happiness" movement - you can't alter your brain chemistry by simply having happy thoughts.
Nancy